<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/4YnXpqF/girl-Title.png");
background-size:cover;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:400px;
top:100px;
color:#7a7979;
}
#title-container p {
color:white;
font-size:120px;
position:relative;
left:150px;
top:80px;
animation: bottom-fade-In 10.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:0s;
}
@keyframes bottom-fade-In{
0% {
transform: translateY(20px);
opacity: 0;
}
100% {
transform: translateY(0px);
opacity: 1;
}
}
</style>
<div id="title-container">
<p class="title">She is gone</p>
</div>
[[Start]]<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 320px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:20px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>It is her, of course.</p>
<p>"Are you on board?"</p>
<p>She is back home with her family from the other side of the earth, for just a bit, because she is coming to you in Atlanta in two weeks. Then, early next month, she will go to her grad school in New York, you will start you new lives together. You have planned it all - when she comes back you will go to IKEA together to buy furnitures. "Setting up a new home together makes me feel so warm and hopeful", you remember she said this before.</p>
<p>[["Yeah I just sat down. I'm so tired."]]</p>
<p>[[Send her the video you just watched]]</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:550px;
top:520px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
.container{
width: 300px;
position:relative;
left:570px;
top:30px;
}
.message1 {
position: absolute;
top: 18px;
left: 30px;
width:250px;
font-size:18px;
}
p{
color:white;
}
message1.demo{
color:white;
}
</style>
<style>
#phone-container {
width:280px;
height:500px;
position: fixed;
right:100px;
padding: 30px 30px 30px;
}
#phone-container img {
z-index:-100;
position: absolute;
top:0;
left:0;
}
#phone-container p {
max-width: 200px;
padding: 2px 0 2px 8px;
opacity: 0;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(1) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:0s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(2) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:1s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(3) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:2s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(4) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:3s;
}
@keyframes bottom-fade-In{
0% {
transform: translateY(20px);
opacity: 0;
}
100% {
transform: translateY(0px);
opacity: 1;
}
}
.girl {
margin:10px 50px 0 0;
background: #2583da;
transform: translateX(-5px);
border-radius: 5px 5px 5px 1px;
}
.boy {
background: #F2F2F2;
color:#2b2b2b;
margin:10px 0 0 20px;
border-radius: 5px 5px 1px 5px;
}
.mask {
opacity:0;
position: fixed;
top:0;
left:0;
width:100%;
height:100%;
background-color: rgba(0,0,0, 0.5);
animation: fade-In 2s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
}
@keyframes fade-In{
0% {
opacity: 0;
}
100% {
opacity: 1;
}
}
</style>
<div class="mask"></div>
<div id="phone-container">
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/WFGgm5c/phone3.png" alt="Phone" height=500px width=280px>
<p class="girl">I am sure you are. Get some sleep on the plane.</p>
<p class="boy">Haha definitely will do. You know I can sleep anywhere.</p>
<p class="girl">Haha.</p>
</div>
[["Excuse me sir. Seat belt please."]]
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:550px;
top:520px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
.container{
width: 300px;
position:relative;
left:570px;
top:30px;
}
.message1 {
position: absolute;
top: 18px;
left: 30px;
width:250px;
font-size:18px;
}
p{
color:white;
}
message1.demo{
color:white;
}
</style>
<style>
#phone-container {
width:280px;
height:500px;
position: fixed;
right:100px;
padding: 30px 30px 30px;
}
#phone-container img {
z-index:-100;
position: absolute;
top:0;
left:0;
}
#phone-container p {
max-width: 200px;
padding: 2px 0 2px 8px;
opacity: 0;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(1) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:0s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(2) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:1s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(3) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:2s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(4) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1); animation-delay:3s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(5) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:4s;
}
#phone-container p:nth-child(6) {
animation: bottom-fade-In 0.5s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
animation-delay:5s;
}
@keyframes bottom-fade-In{
0% {
transform: translateY(20px);
opacity: 0;
}
100% {
transform: translateY(0px);
opacity: 1;
}
}
.girl {
margin:10px 50px 0 0;
background: #2583da;
transform: translateX(-5px);
border-radius: 5px 5px 5px 1px;
}
.boy {
background: #F2F2F2;
color:#2b2b2b;
margin:10px 0 0 20px;
border-radius: 5px 5px 1px 5px;
}
.mask {
opacity:0;
position: fixed;
top:0;
left:0;
width:100%;
height:100%;
background-color: rgba(0,0,0, 0.5);
animation: fade-In 2s forwards cubic-bezier(0.33, 1.26, 1, 1);
}
@keyframes fade-In{
0% {
opacity: 0;
}
100% {
opacity: 1;
}
}
</style>
<div class="mask"></div>
<div id="phone-container">
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/WFGgm5c/phone3.png" alt="Phone" height=500px width=280px>
<p class="girl">I will miss it there</p>
<p class="boy">Me too. When I arrive it would probably be 12 AM your time.</p>
<p class="boy">Will you be sleeping then?</p>
<p class="girl">I am not sure yet.</p>
<p class="boy">Okay. Just leave me a message when you sleep.</p>
<p class="girl">Sure..</p>
</div>
[["Excuse me sir. Seat belt please."]]
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:180px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
"I've thought about this for a long time, but...I'm sorry. I think we should not be together anymore. I want to let you know that I'm very proud of the relationship we built together, but we are just too different in many ways. We may still be happy together for now, but looking toward the future I don't see any other way. Someone as lovely as you will surely find a better girl. I truly wish you all the best."
</p>
<p>
Your heart misses a beat the second you see this. A moment ago you were still talking as usual, and you were still sentimental about leaving LA, but now you got this when the plane is about to take off in a few minutes. You don't even know what exactly you are feeling right now. Is it anger, confusion, disbelief, disappointment, or something else?
</p>
<p>
You type
</p>
</div>
[["Okay, fine."]]
<br>
<br>
[["Why? Why don't you talk to me about all this earlier?"]]
<br>
<br>
[[Call her immediately]]
<br><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 300px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
The flight attendant is standing by you, asking you to buckle up your seat belt.
<br>
<br>
"The flight is taking off soon."
<br>
<br>
You put down your phone and buckle it up.
<br>
<br>
You reach to your phone to tell her your are turning on airplane mode. As you pick up the phone, a message comes in.</p>
</div>
[[read it]]<%
s.score += 8;
s.reaction_on_plane = "receptive";
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:180px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>You turn your phone to airplane mode and put it in your pocket. You lean back and close your eyes.
</p>
<p>
You thought to yourself. This is relationship -- it is never up to one person. You repeat to yourself, if it is over, it is over.
</p>
<p>
The plane takes off.
</p>
<p>
You know the best thing to do now it to get over this time. You try to sleep because you know you should be very tired now, but when you close your eyes all your thoughts immediately overwhelms you and you can even identify which thought is which. You wish you packed your melatonin in your back pack.
</p>
<p>
You turn up your music just so that you don't think about her, but soon you realize nothing can distract you. "Maybe I should try to organize my thoughts", you said to yourself. You take out your phone, but you are not sure if you want to [[write it down]] or rather [[avoid to think about her as much as you can]]</p>
</div>
<%
s.score += 5;
s.reaction_on_plane = "medium";
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:180px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
"I thought we've talked about everything before... We are just so different."
</p>
<p>
You think back about all the things you talked about. There were things that you hold different views, like some films, something about communication style, something about where to live in the future, etc, but...
</p>
<p>
"But no one is exactly the same as another person right? Everyone is unique." You continue, "And you never let me know your thoughts. I never knew this is how you think about us!"
</p>
<p>
"..."
</p>
<p>
"Why do you say this right before my flight takes off anyway? Don't you think we should at least talk about this?"
</p>
<p>
"Okay we can talk. I will wait until you land and then we can talk."
</p>
<p>
"Wait for me."
</p>
[[Continue|Next]]
</div>
<%
s.reaction_on_plane = "resisting";
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
"beep...beep...beep..."
</p>
<p>
She does not pick up the phone. You hang up and call her again.
</p>
<p>
"beep...beep...beep..."
</p>
<p>
Same result.
</p>
<p>
The plane starts moving.
</p>
<p>
Your heart is bursting out of your body. You just want to get off the plane right now, but you know it is not possible.
</p>
<p>
You call her once again, and again, and again. The flight attendant steps over to you.
</p>
<p>
"Excuse me sir. Please turn your phone to airplane mode. We will be taking off shortly."
</p>
<p>
You look at her polite but indifferent face, almost wanting to cry and yell, but you didn't. You turn on airplane mode with your shaking hand, and put your phone away.
</p>
<p>
"Thank you for your cooperation."
</p>
[[Continue|Next..]]
</div>
<%
s.unpacked = false;
s.phone_cleaned = false;
s.fly = false;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 300px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:80px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:90px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You turn your phone back on.
</p>
</div>
<% if (s.reaction_on_plane === "receptive") { %>
[[No message from her| 1 - No message from her.]]
<% } else if (s.reaction_on_plane === "medium") { %>
[[No message from her| 2 - No message from her.]]
<% } else { %>
[[You got a long message.| 3 - You got a long message.]]
<% } %><%
s.phone_cleaned = true;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: white;
}
div {
width: 500px;
position: relative;
left: 170px;
top: 20px;
}
a {
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You pick up your phone. Your homescreen is still her. You replace it with a random picture.</p>
<p>
You export all the photos and save them to a hard drive. Every picture reminds you of a piece of sweet memory you had with her, from when you just got together to two weeks ago. All the places you have traveled to -- Chicago, Disneyland, Bahamas, Alaska -- all the restaurants you have been to, your birthday, her birthday. All of them are going to be removed from your phone today, and from now on stay in an unvisited corner of your hard drive. </p>
<p>
Your chat history is still there. A hundred thousand messages between you two. You sit on the floor and look at what you were talking about one month ago, two months ago, or even at the beginning of your relationship. For many of the messages, you can even recall your feelings at the moment, and it is still so fresh, but they have all ended, abruptly, by the break up.</p>
<p>
You swipe left to reveal the delete button, put your thumb over it. You look at it but just cannot drop your thumb, so you close your eyes, and tap...</p>
<p>
It is gone.
</p>
<% if (s.unpacked === false) { %>
<p>[[Unpack all you bags]]</p>
<% } %>
<p>[[Sleep, on the floor because you have no furniture]]</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p {
color:white;
}
div {
width: 500px;
position: relative;
left: 170px;
top: 30px;
}
a {
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You wake up. It's already late night. It wasn't comfortable sleeping on the floor, but you at least get some sleep. You open your eyes looking at the ceiling, everything happened before you slept comes back to you.
</p>
<p>
You re-enter the reality and your most fresh and harsh memory is thrown onto your face. You are definitely not prepared for this. You had to re-adjust to this reality -- this new place, no bed, no friends, no nothing, and no her.
</p>
<p>
It's dark outside as well as inside the room. You try to move your body but everywhere feels sour. Why bother? You just continue lying down there motionlessly, as if no life exists in the dark room. You don't feel hungry at all although you cannot remember when was your last meal. You just lie there, feeling the reality and the time, until you lost them.
</p>
</div>
[[Next morning]]<%
s.unpacked = true;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: white;
}
div {
width: 500px;
position: relative;
left: 170px;
top: 20px;
}
a {
position: relative;
left: 170px;
top: 60px;
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You open your luggages. They were just packed a few hours ago. When you packed them, you carefully wrapped all the small gifts she gave you, hoping that she will be back in a couple weeks and you can decide together where to put them in the new apartment. If the hope has temperature, it should still be warm in the luggage, but she is not coming back anymore. Now all of the traces of her are scattered everywhere in your luggages, and they are all looking at you, telling you what you have lost in the last few hours.
</p>
<p>
You decide you want to pick up everything related to her, put them in a box, and lock it up, but everything you pick up, the moment you touch it, the memory associated with it creeps into your mind. Regardless of your tiredness, you speed up your movement so that those memories don't take over your mind for long.
</p>
<p>
You put the box into the storage room, and close the door.
</p>
</div>
<% if (s.phone_cleaned === false) { %>
[[Remove her photos and chat history from you phone]]
<% } %>
[[Sleep, on the floor because you have no furniture]]
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Rb7Mh4y/plane2-onland.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Standing at the luggage carrousel at ATL airport, you cannot help thinking that just 3 weeks ago you were here at the exact same place, but together. You were here to find your new apartment and feeling very hopeful. Now you are here again, all by yourself.</p>
<p>
Your mind is in a hysterical state. You cannot think straight. Clips of memories come and go, but you cannot grasp or follow any of it. It feels like drowning in the flood.</p>
<p>
An idea come to your mind. "What if go to see her now?"
</p>
</div>
[[Buy the flight ticket right now]]
[[Go home first and decide later]]<%
s.score -= 5;
s.fly = true;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 700px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
There is no direct flight from Atlanta to her city. To go to her city, you need to fly 2 flights, total 20 hours, and then take a 2-hour bus, but you have lost your sense of time for long, and those are just numbers to you now. You store your luggages at the airport, buy the ticket, and go right back into the ticketing line.
</p>
<p>
On the flight you don't know if you are hopeful, devastated, or illusional. You imagine what would you do and say when you see her, but you always lost your thought somewhere in the process. You would start again, and lost it somewhere else. Maybe your brain just stops working now. He has definitely been through a lot in the past who-know-how-many-hours. "Uh, it feels like a deja vu", you say to yourself.
</p>
[[Continue|cont.]]
</div>
<%
s.score += 1;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p {
color: white;
}
div {
width: 500px;
position: relative;
left: 170px;
top: 30px;
}
a {
position: relative;
left: 170px;
top: 60px;
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
It's almost noon now in Atlanta. On your way to your new apartment, you sit at the back seat, looking at this strange city, your new home. The sunlight makes everything happened on the plane feels unreal. You think back from last night, you were packing your stuff all night, emptied your apartment in LA. You were sentimental and hopeful when you finally closed that door. Then you headed to the airport to catch this 5AM flight, and then you got the message. It's over, just like that. After that is 4 hours of flight. You don't even remember how you spent the time. You didn't sleep for sure, but what did you do? what came to your mind?
</p>
<p>
Now you are at the new place just like you planned. The scorching sunlight reminds you it is a new day, and everything happened just felt like a dream. Except you know it is not.
</p>
</div>
[[You arrive at your new empty apartment]]<%
s.score += 1;
s.write_on_plane = true;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<% if (s.reaction_on_plane === "receptive") { %>
<p>
As you start typing, a lot of questions and thoughts in your mind get organized. When you think back about your relationship, you can even pick up the moments that might lead to the break up, but you still don't know exactly why.
</p>
<p>
You tell yourself, once the break up happened, the reason doesn't matter anymore.
</p>
<p>
You try to play this rationally, but your brain won't lie about its pain. Haven't slept for nearly 24 hours, you still cannot seem to sleep.
</p>
<% } else { %>
<p>
As you start typing, all the questions and thoughts in your mind rush out like flood. You want to clarify, explain, ask, argue, apologize, beg, and you pour them all out. As the typing goes, your mind straightens a little bit. You sort out your pain, your love, your feeling about her decision, and you even thought about what you might do after the plane lands.
</p>
<p>
You haven't slept for nearly 24 hours but you still cannot get any of that no matter how hard you try. This is the longest 4 hours in your life, it has an end.
</p>
<% } %>
</div>
[[The plane finally lands]]<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p {
color:white;
}
div {
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>She declines. </p>
<p>
A few seconds later comes her message. "Can we simply text?"
</p>
<p>
You get off the plane, and walk to the luggage carrousel as fast as you can.
</p>
<p>
"I think our relationship deserves a face-to-face conversation to end."
</p>
<p>
Standing at the luggage carrousel, you remember just 3 weeks ago you were here as the exact same place together. You were here to look for the new apartment. What a hopeful thing to do! Now you are here again, alone and talking about breakup with her.
</p>
<p>
"Video chat will be too emtional. I think I can express myself better this way."
</p>
<p>
"Okay. What difference made you want to break up?"
</p>
<p>
You get your two large heavy luggages, book a Uber, and walk toward the pickup zone.
</p>
</div>
[[Continue|OK]]<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size: cover;
}
p{
color: white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>Next morning, the sun rises, and you noticed, so maybe you didn't sleep. But you also don't remember what were you thinking for the night, so maybe you did sleep. You are awake now, and that's all you know.She is gone. This pain and loss just overwhelm you every second you are conscious. Of course you didn't sleep well on the floor, if you slept at all. Of course you body feels like not belonging to you because what it went through yesterday. Of course life is miserable, because it just is. It explodes right in front of your face, and you don't even have the strength to stand up, not to mention fight back.You open social media,as if you are interested in what everyone else is doing. As you scroll, you suddenly see a profile photo that is very special for you. No need to mention who that person is. She has a status update.
</p>
<p>
"Have a good life."
</p>
<p>
She also shared a song along with it. The song is from her favorite singer, and you know this is for you. You listened to the song and tears dropped down, because you think every word in the lyrics is what she wants to say to you, and this is probably the last she has something to say to you.You miss her so much.</p>
[[Buy the flight ticket right now]]<br>
[[Write down your thoughts]]<br>
[[Go to IKEA to buy furnitures]]<br>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p {
color:white;
}
div {
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a {
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You calculate the time difference -- it is evening in her place. It is not her sleep time yet. </p>
<p>You text her "Hi I'm in IKEA now."</p>
<p>You don't know if she will respond, so you pick up a few arbitrary items and buy them. You hold the phone in your hand all the time. When you leave IKEA, it has certainly passed her sleep time, and of course she does not respond. </p>
[[Days have passed]]
</div>
<%
s.score += 2;
s.keep_journal = true;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size: cover;
}
p{
color: white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>You start out by writing down how much you miss her and how she is important to you. As you write, you also start to think about some actual problems. Are the differences she mentioned actual differences or just misunderstanding? Are you really not suitable for each other?
You put down everything you want to tell her, but you have an illusion of hope -- as you write, you feel like you are talking to her, and she is listening. When she hears it, she will respond. Just like before. You talk, and she listens.</p>
<p>
You write down your thoughts as though you were writing a letter to her, and you put the journal into a shared cloud drive folder between you two. You hope one day she will think about you, and when she does she may come here and she would see this. What a good ex-boy of you to miss her that much but still not disturb.</p>
<p>
From today, you just keep your journal every single day, and your journal becomes the place for you to face your true self. You never know if she has looked at it, but just thinking she might have secretly make you feel a little bit meaningful.
</p>
[[Days have passed]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size: cover;
}
p{
color: white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You struggle to stand up. Your back and neck hurt from lying on the floor. You take a shower and try to shed off the dust from the past. You look into the mirror and you look fresh. Presentable to the world you would say, and you left the apartment.
</p>
<p>
Standing in IKEA, you are surrounded by people, happy people. Families and couples walk by you, look at different furnitures, and discuss if they like it and where to put it. She could have been there with you. That's all you think about while being there. You look at other people's happiness and feel like they are shining, so shining and bright that it hurts your eyes and your hearts.
</p>
<p>
You have an unsuppressable urge to [[message her]], but don't even know what would you say to her. What if she just doesn't respond? What if she says something that makes you even hurt more? You feel so powerless against her decision. So maybe you should [[resist the urge|Resist it]]?
</p>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 600px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>Days have passed. You don't have much appetite, you lose sleep sometimes, and you lose a lot of weight.</p>
<p>
Today is the date that she is supposed to come back. You are supposed to go to school orientation in the afternoon and pick her up from airport tonight.</p>
<p>You dreamed about her last night.</p>
<p>When you woke up tears are in your eyes. You still need to spend time to situate yourself in this world without her every single morning.</p>
<p>You start to think more about things she had said, the kind of life she wanted, and your response to that. You think about everything you have said and done that can be related to her, and hypothesize about everything that you could have done differently. The more you think about them, the more you feel guilt and regret.</p>
<% if (s.fly === true) { %>
<p>You especially regret about flying back to see her. Maybe you really ruined the great relationship we had.</p>
<p>The past cannot be changed, no matter how guilty and regretful you are, but that thought just makes your mind sink into your guilt and regret even more. You even start to feel like you understand why she chose to break up with you. As much as you love her, maybe the only thing you can do now is to [[respect her decision|school has started]].</p>
<% } else { %>
<p>The guilt and regret make you think in your mind, when she comes back to New York for school, you want to see her, you want to apologize, and you want to make up for everything that you could have done better. You want to [[message her and ask if it is possible to meet]].</p>
<p>At the same time, you also realize the past cannot be changed, no matter how guilty and regretful you are, but that thought just makes your mind sink into your guilt and regret even more. You even start to feel like you understand why she chose to break up with you. As much as you love her, maybe you should [[respect her decision|school has started]].
</p>
<% } %>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
The school has started. In this new environment, you don't know anyone, and because of the two full-time commitments, you really don't have time to get to know people. You haven't even had a chance to tour your campus. You don't know how sustainable your schedule will be, but you just try to hang in there.</p>
<p>
The first project from one of your class is to create an interactive narrative. An idea immediately comes to your mind -- you can [[make your breakup story|Make your story]] into this narrative. You always think about what happens if you did something else at some point. This would allow you to truely think about that. At the same time, you are also worried -- what if [[making this story just breaks your heart again and again|Your attitude toward her changes all the time]]...
</p>
</div>
<%
s.score -= 2;
s.make_own_story = true;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>current score: <%=s.score%></p>
<p>
You name the story "She is gone", and you start to run all the possible scenarios in your mind. Your thoughts run wildly, but you need to think about what endings do you want to have in your narrative.</p>
<p>
You can have some happy endings where the player gets the girl back. You can also have some dark endings where the player decides to end it all. Or, more like reality, you can have all choices lead to a meaningless default -- you live with what happened, one way or another.
</p>
<p>
You don't have to make a decision now, but you think to yourself, "if only I could control my life like this game."
</p>
<p>
[[Your life goes on|Your attitude toward her changes all the time]]
</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Your attitude toward her changes all the time.
</p>
<p>
Sometimes you imagine if you just work hard and become a better person, you still have the chance to be with her in the future.
</p>
<p>
Sometimes you sink into disbelief again and wonder how could such a close and intimate relationship just ended like that?
</p>
<p>
Sometimes you even think you are doing just fine without her.
</p>
<p>
Over time, without her presence in your life, and with all the school and work, you are almost used to your life now. Sometimes you even question yourself if you still need to make the call. But there are still moments where you miss her.
</p>
<p>
People say breaking up is like curing drug addiction. Mentally and physiologically, they are the same.
</p>
<p>
You seem to have more control over your life...[[until one day]]
</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/hKXTL20/classroom.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:1px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Waking up from the smell of alchohol and with hangover, you even become a bit resentful toward her. There are things you have done wrong, and you have your guilt and regrets, but you think maybe in her mind, she has other dark thoughts. But this time, you didn't let yourself fall into that blackbole, you tell yourself, no one in the world is oblidged to accept one another, and they don't need a reason for that. She left, that's all, and there is nothing wrong with that.
</p>
<p>
While you rationalize this, another "rational" idea comes to your mind. Why cannot "end it all" be a rational decision that people can make. What's wrong with giving up on a thing that only has the slimmest chance to go well, and all other possibilities are pain? If we truly own our lives, we should have the right to decide when it should end.
</p>
<p>
This thought doesn't make you feel particularly painful. You get some food from fridge and turn on YouTube. In the recommended videos, there is a song, "僕が死のうと思ったのは" (I've had the thought of ending it all). All of a sudden you burst into tears...
</p>
[[Continue|NEXT.....]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/fNyXV1d/street.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 900px;
position:fixed;
left:180px;
top:10px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Standing at the window and looking outside, it is indeed not bad. Then you lower your head and look down, starting to think about your life again.
</p>
<p>
You think about the school that just started. You are studying the things you have always wanted to learn, but you feel no interest or passion, it is purely a torture.
</p>
<%
if (s.make_own_story) {
%>
<p>
It becomes more and more difficult for you to even look at the story you make. Every word you write about her hurts yourself. Putting yourselves into the storyline hurts. Imagine different possibilities also hurts. You start to doubt yourself -- you don't know if you can get through this.</p>
<%
}
%>
<p>
All of a sudden, you feel a combination of fear and urge, and you realize the danger of this feeling. This is probably the darkest hour in your life. Your fear makes you grab any thoughts in your mind that resembles "hope" in any possible way. Your home, your friends, the mental health professionals, but at this moment, she didn't come to your mind.
</p>
<p>
As desperate as you feel right now, you realize this is not about her anymore. As long as you get through this moment, you will get over her. After the darkest hour is the [[dawn]].</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size: cover;
}
p{
color: white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You quickly pick up a few arbitrary items and buy them. You did it as fast as you can and you don't even care much about the furnitures' styles or sizes, because any second you spend in the store is a torture.
</p>
<p>
When you check out all items and get out of the store. You feel you escaped from the hell of shining and bright happiness. You check your phone, it has passed her time sleep in her time zone, and you go home.
</p>
[[Days have passed]]
</div>
<%
s.score += 1;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 710px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You cannot read any emotional response from her face. She holds for a few seconds and says,
</p>
<p>
"I really didn't expect you here, and I appreciate you take such an effort, but I truly think we should both move on from our relationship. Love depends on effort from both sides, and you are not going to change my mind. Please just respect my decision."
</p>
<p>[[Leave]]</p>
<p>[["I traveled a long way here. Can you at least show me around?"]]</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 710px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>"I'm sorry you have traveled such a long way to hear this, but I think you are ruining our memories. Please don't do that because I really cherish them. It's over. Let's move on."</p>
<p>[[Leave]]</p>
<p>[["I'm here already. Can you at least show me around?"|"I traveled a long way here. Can you at least show me around?"]]</p>
</div>
<%
s.score += 2;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 710px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color: #1364e8;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>She hesitates a little bit, and says "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"</p>
<p>
You had so many questions for her on your way to Atlanta, but after traveling such a long way and seeing her right in front of your eyes, none of them wants to come out of your mouth.</p>
<p>
"I truly believe we can still be happily together just like before, and we can work out all the problems. I said I respect your decision and I mean it, but can you please give it another thought, just for the sake of all the happiness we had together?"</p>
<p>[[Continue|....]]</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/fNyXV1d/street.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 900px;
position:fixed;
left:180px;
top:10px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>You walk on the street of her hometown, keep thinking that this is the place she grew up, and everything you see could be related to her. The bench she might sit on, the store that she might have bought stacks from, and the food stand that she might like. You keep look around because secretly you wish she would come out and walk with you for a while, but you don't see her.
<br><br>
With the long travel and jet lag, your legs feel like floating, but you still don't feel sleepy. You know you must be exhaustedly mentally and physically because of everything happened for the past two days. Or is it three days? You have been staying in 3 different timezones, and you have to count hours to figure out how much time it has been, but you are too tired to do so. You lost track of time, but you don't care anyway.
<br><br>
You find a hotel, get into your room, and collapse into the bed. It is difficult to not think about her, because everything you see reminds you that you are in her hometown. You are also not sure how you feel about coming here. Are you regretting that you really are [[ruining your relationshp]], or are you justing [[trying everything you can]] within your ability?</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/fNyXV1d/street.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 900px;
position:fixed;
left:180px;
top:10px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>You keep thinking about what else you could have done, or what can you do now, but cannot seem to find a recovery from the current situation. This makes you devastated, beacuse it points you to one fact -- you have actually lost her. No matter you are willing or not, you will have to live your life without her.
</p>
<p>
This realization immediately makes you cry. You don't want to come back to your world anymore. At this moment, you hate your work, hate your school, and you also hate your life. You almost want to quit them all, and just escape from the reality, you know you cannot do that.
</p>
<p>
But what can you do?
</p>
<p>
You don't know how much time has passed away since you lied in there. You knew it was afternoon when you walk in the hotel, but now the street is already empty. You don't think you fell asleep, but you also cannot remember what happened. You walk to the window and look at this quiet city, you know realize the best thing you can do now is to get yourself out of here. Atlanta to you is probably just as sad, but it will be your home for the next two years, so it is probably time to go back.
</p>
<p>
You go back to your bed, book a flight back to Atlanta, and fall asleep.</p>
[[Days have passed]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/fNyXV1d/street.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 900px;
position:fixed;
left:180px;
top:10px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
But what can you do?
</p>
<p>
You don't know how much time has passed away since you lied in there. You knew it was afternoon when you walk in the hotel, but now the street is already empty. You don't think you fell asleep, but you also cannot remember what happened. You walk to the window and look at this quiet city, you know realize the best thing you can do now is to get yourself out of here. Atlanta to you is probably just as sad, but it will be your home for the next two years, so it is probably time to go back.
</p>
<p>
You go back to your bed, book a flight back to Atlanta, and fall asleep.</p>
[[Days have passed]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Rb7Mh4y/plane2-onland.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:150px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>At ATL airport, you cannot help thinking about just 3 weeks ago you were here together, trying to find your new home. You were so hopeful, but now you are here again, all by yourself.</p>
<p>It's almost noon now in Atlanta. On your way to your new apartment, you sit at the back seat, looking at this strange city, your new home. It almost feels unreal. You think back from last night, you were packing your staff all night, emptied your apartment in LA, you were sentimental and hopeful when you finally closed that door. Then you headed to the airport to catch this 5AM flight, and then you got the message. It's over, just like that. After that is 4 hours of flight. You don't even remember how you spent the time. You didn't sleep for sure, but what did you do? what came to your mind? And now you are at the new place just like you planned. The scorching sun light reminds you it is a new day, and everything happened just felt like a dream. Except you know it is not.</p>
</div>
[[You arrive at your new empty apartment]]
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Rb7Mh4y/plane2-onland.png");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position: relative;
left: 150px;
top: 30px;
}
a{
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>The plane is still not at the gate yet, but you just cannot wait.</p>
<p>
You text her, "I just landed."
</p>
<p>
A few seconds later, she says "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"
</p>
<p>
You have so many things to say and so many questions to ask, and you know this is probably your last chance. Although you are still on the plane and you need to do a million things -- get off the plane, get your luggages, take a uber, get your keys, and finally get into your empty hopeless apartment -- before you even have a place to sit down and talk, you still cannot hold your urge any longer.</p>
[[You request to video chat]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Rb7Mh4y/plane2-onland.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:150px;
top:50px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
It's from her, of course.
</p>
<p>
"I'm sorry for not picking up your phone. I know what you will say, but I've made up my mind. The time I spent with you will always be my happiest memory, but we each have a future ahead of us. So, be sad for a while and then cheer up. Your next two years will be tough with work and school together, but please remember I will always be proud of you. Goodbye, and have a good life."
</p>
<p>
You call her back. Silent.
</p>
<p>
You message her, but of course nothing happens.
</p>
<p>
You [[get off the plane]].
</p>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
This is the exact apartment that you visited and picked together 3 weeks ago. When you visited here, you even planned where to put the couch, where to put the film projector, and whose study desk will be placed where. Now you have all the spaces by yourself.
</p>
<p>
You lie on the floor and your body just feels dead. You look up and stare at the ceiling. Everything here feel strange and familiar. You don't know if it is because of no sleep or her.
</p>
<%
if (s.reaction_on_plane === "resisting") {
%>
<p>You still want to fly to see her, but you cannot even lift up your arm now. "I'll go tomorrow", you say to yourself.</p>
<%
}
%>
<p>
What's next?
</p>
<% if (s.phone_cleaned === false) { %>
<p>[[Remove her photos and chat history from you phone]]</p>
<% } %>
<% if (s.unpacked === false) { %>
<p>[[Unpack all you bags]]</p>
<% } %>
<p>[[Sleep, on the floor because you have no furniture]]</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 300px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:50px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>Later, she came into your life. Santa Monica beach, Getty Center, LACMA, Korean Town, and of course, your lovely home, have all witnessed your love. If you ask them, they won't lie.</p>
[[Continue|Emmm..]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 300px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:50px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>You pull out your phone and take a look at the video you just took before you closed the door of your apartment for the last time. The room was all empty, just like when you moved in, as if nothing has changed, but you know you are not the same boy anymore. In the end of video, your voice said "goodbye, I will remember it here", and you repeated in your heart.
</p>
<p>Your phone vibrates. </p>
[[New Message]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:360px;
top:10px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<%
s.write_on_plane = false;
%>
<% if (s.reaction_on_plane === "receptive") { %>
<div>
<p>
You put on your headset and turn up the music. Rationally you know you need to focus on something, because if you don't, thoughts about her will creep in. This is your favorite playlist, and you try to catch every word in the lyrics, but the words just flow through your mind. Deep down you still cannot resist your thoughts.
</p>
<p>
You have to tell yourself, once the break up happened, nothing about her matters anymore. You have to look forward.
</p>
<p>
Coming next is grad school, but you are still also working full time. You made this arrangement for her because you want to be a reliable man. Obviously you have to do this for yourself now.
</p>
<p>
These thoughts help you shift your thinking from her to other things, but your brain won't lie about its pain. Haven't slept for nearly 24 hours, you still cannot seem to sleep.</p>
<% } else { %>
<p>You try to distract yourself from thinking about her. You put on your headset and turn up the music to the loudest. It is your favorite playlist but you only find it annoying today. You tried to watch some films as well, but you find romances fake, comedies cheap, actions boring, and sci-fis ridiculous.
</p>
<p>
You know you love films, but maybe not today. You studied film for undergrad, and you used to make films together. But you become a software engineer afterwards for financial independence, and now you cannot give up your job even when you go to grad school. You want to be a reliable man for her, so you plan to do full time job and grad school together. Of course you didn't expect this to happen, but now you are all on your own to take all the responsibilities.
</p>
<p>
These thoughts start torturing you again. Nothing distracts you, and no amount of tiredness can get you any sleep. You body feels dead, but you brain is in consistent and active pain.
</p>
<p>
Second by second, you survived through the longest 4 hours in your life. </p>
<% } %>
[[The plane finally lands]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
"Many things. I don't want to name them, because I don't want to argue about them anymore. Those are not your faults or anything like that. You are great, but we are just not suitable for each other."
</p>
<p>
It is almost noon in Atlanta and it is scorching hot. You are sweating and you body feels very weak because of no sleep, but you still push the heavy luggages and walk as fast as you can. You just want to get to your room, sit down, and talk it though.
</p>
<p>
You get on your Uber just in time.
</p>
<p>
"But why didn't you say something when we talk about those things? You said we talked about them right?"
</p>
<p>
The Uber drives you through the city, your new home, but nothing outside of the window interests you. You just keep staring at your phone. A drop of sweat drips from your forehead onto your phone.
</p>
</div>
[[Continue|OK..]]<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 600px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
"Because that's who you are, and I don't want you to change anything for me. If I had to do that, that means we are not meant to be together. And the more I realize that, the more I feel like I don't like you as much."
</p>
<p>
You shake your head in disappointment while keep typing.
</p>
<p>
"But can you think about our time together? We were still so happy just last week. We had so many great memories and we never had any argument. Those are my best memories in my life."
</p>
<p>
You arrive at your apartment, drag all your luggages up to the leasing office, and get the key.
</p>
<p>
"Those are my best memories too. I cherish them so much that I have gone through so many internal conflicts to give up. It hurts to let go our past, but I just don't see our future."
</p>
<p>
You finally get the key. You take the elevator up to the 15th floor, open the door, and finally step into your empty apartment. You leave everything by the door, and just sit on the floor.
</p>
<p>
"What about resiliency? Don't you think it takes resiliency to make any relationship last?"
</p>
<p>
"Yes, but they have to still like each other."
</p>
</div>
[[Continue|OK...]]
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 700px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
The sound of knocking suddenly wakes you up from the "walking dead" state. You can feel Adrenaline level bursts in your brain and you regain your consciousness. Yes you have flown here, you are standing right in front her door, and you have knocked. You may see her any second now.</p>
<p>
A voice comes from inside the door, "who is this?" It is her.</p>
<p>
"It's......me." Silent for a few seconds. The door opens, and she is standing right in front of you. </p>
<p>
"Why are you here?" She looks cold, and her voice is low and indifferent.
</p>
<p>[[I miss you so much. I just cannot resist myself from doing this.]]</p>
<p>[[Please don't leave me. I cannot imagine a life without you.]]</p>
<% if (s.reaction_on_plane === "resisting") { %>
<p>[[I respect your decision, but can you at least give me chance to talk it through]]</p>
<% } %>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 710px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>She hesitates for a few seconds but says "No".</p>
<p>"Have a safe flight back, and I truly wish you all the best." She takes a final look at you, gives you a smile, turns around, and closes the door.</p>
<p> The smile. The only smile you get for 20 hours of flight, and it is as beautiful as you remembered, except she turned away afterwards.</p>
[[Leave]]
</div>
<%
s.ask_to_meet = true;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
"Hey I'm visiting New York next weekend. Can I meet you and give you the stuff you left at my place?"
</p>
<p>
In about half an hour, "I don't think we should meet. Can you just mail me the stuff?"
</p>
<p>
"I actually have some things to say to you."
</p>
<p>
"Can you say it now?"
</p>
<p>
"I think I want to talk to you face to face."
</p>
<p>
In another 10 minutes, "I still don't think we should meet, because I'm not sure if you have really let go of this relationship. I don't want to give you the wrong signal about how I feel, because I've really decided to move on."
</p>
<p>
"Okay, but can I at least have a chance to say what I want to say?"
</p>
<p>
"Okay, can you call me late next month? I would be settled in at the time."
</p>
<p>
"Thank you. Talk to you then."
</p>
[[Soon your school starts|school has started]]
</div>
<%
s.score += 4;
s.reaction_on_plane = "medium";
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:180px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You turn on airplane mode and the plane takes off.
</p>
<p>
You are simply stunned in your seat. All kinds of emotions, thoughts, and urges overwhelm you, and you are not sure if this is real. It feels like a bomb just exploded inside of you, but there is no way to let any of the energy out, because you are on a plane. You have ten thousand questions to ask her and a hundred thousand words to tell her, but you are caged in this iron box and isolated from the world.
</p>
<p>
The flight is more than 4 hours, and every second of it feels like forever. You ask yourself, "maybe [[writing down all my thoughts|write it down]] can let out some of the energy, or should I just [[try not to think about her|avoid to think about her as much as you can]] as much as you can to get over the 4 hours?"
</p>
</div><%
s.reaction_on_plane = "resisting";
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
The flight attendant steps away and the plane takes off.
</p>
<p>
Your body is shaking and you cannot control it. You feel like it is exploding. Explosion should be an instantaneous thing, but you feel it is just going on and on and on, and it does not get easier. Every second is a torture. Thinking about the plane is 4 hours long, you almost want to punch a hole in the window and jump out of the plane.
</p>
<p>
But you cannot. There is nothing you can do. NOTHING. She may never say a word to you anymore. You can kill yourself for it but still cannot change it.
</p>
<p>
You take a few deep breaths, and you decide to at least get over the 4 hours. As tired as you feel right now, you know sleep is no possible. Maybe you should [[write down your thoughts|write it down]] to organize them, or maybe you should occupy yourself and [[avoid to think about her as much as you can]]?
</p>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/ZVjxvxB/apartment.png");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 400px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You sigh, lie down on the floor, and stare at the ceiling. What else can you say? At this moment, you know there is no hope to change her mind, but your brain is still searching for things to say. Your sense of time becomes distorted.
</p>
<p>
Your phone vibrates, and she just sent another message.
</p>
<p>
"Goodbye. I truly wish the best for you."
</p>
<p>
Looking at this message, maybe the last message you get from her, you unconsciously hold your breath. What else can you say? Your fingers type, "G--o-o-d-b-y-e", and tap. You just sent it out.
</p>
<p>
You drop the phone on the floor, and your brain just feels empty. No sadness, no pain, no regret, just empty.
</p>
<p>
What's next?
</p>
</div>
<% if (s.phone_cleaned === false) { %>
[[Remove her photos and chat history from you phone]]
<% } %>
<% if (s.unpacked === false) { %>
[[Unpack all you bags]]
<% } %>
[[Sleep, on the floor because you have no furniture]]
<%
s.score += 2;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 710px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>You try to look into her eyes, but she is avoiding it. Staring at the floor, she speaks slowly, "For the sake of all the happiness we had together, I think... we should keep them in our hearts and each go our own way." </p>
<p>
She lifts up her head and starts looking at you, "The longer we stay together, more of the happiness will be covered by miscommunication, misunderstanding, and grudges. I'm already starting to feel them now and I don't see any other way around it. Let's move on."
</p>
<p>
Yes, she said it looking right into your eyes. You almost wish this conversation didn't happen, because without her saying this right in front of you, you may still feel some hope, or the illusion of hope, but now, it is gone. Nowhere on earth you can find hope on this again.
</p>
<p>[[Leave]]</p>
<p>[["I traveled a long way here. Can you at least show me around?"]]</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/hKXTL20/classroom.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Until one day when you visit an old friend in New York, you see your friend texting her.
</p>
<p>
There is nothing wrong with what they are talking about, and nothing wrong with them talking with each other. They are friends to each other anyway. What shakes you is you feel her presence once again in your life. She is still the same friendly and warm person in front of everyone, except you. Among all her friends, you know her the best. No doubt about it. But why does it have to be in this state, where two people who know each other the most deeply have to behave like total strangers?
</p>
<p>
There is no way to reconcile this in your heart, all you can do is to get yourself drunk, and wait for the [[next day]].
</p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/fNyXV1d/street.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 900px;
position:fixed;
left:180px;
top:10px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>The tears wash out all your ideas. All you have is the current moment. You breathe, you feel the tears dripping down your face, and you look at the lyrics. You know things are bad in your life, and maybe it won't get much better any time soon, but you feel that is okay. What's so different between being bad and not bad? People think hope is a great think, but at this moment you just want to enjoy your despair. Under despair, nothing in the world matters, and thus everything is simple. No results, no desires, and no expectations concern you anymore. It feels great to be in such a calm emptiness. </p>
<p>It is a catharsis.</p>
<br>
<p>You think to yourself, this is probably the darkest hour in your life, but after the darkest hour is the [[dawn]]. </p>
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/hKXTL20/classroom.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
It is a very positive song, but for some reason it just makes you think about how would you farewell to the world. What would you say to your parents, your friends, and even her. In your mind, you start to put thoughts into words, and the chemistry of those words coming together just makes you cry harder.
</p>
<p>
While crying you look around the room, but you don't know what you are looking for. You see the window and it is bright outside. You think to yourself, the view on the 15th floor should be good, right?
</p>
[[Walk to the window]]
<br>
[[Just keep crying]]
</div>
<%
s.score = 0;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 300px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:50px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>Tired and sentimental, you sink into your seat on an airplane. It is 5AM in the morning, and you are flying from LA to Atlanta, your new home. You think back about the last two years, and all the memories you had in LA ran through your mind like a film. Your first job started here. It allowed you to finally escape from your family and live independently. You were so hopeful.</p>
[[Continue|Em..]]
</div>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/hKXTL20/classroom.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You gradually gain control over your life. You start to meet with a mental health counselor regularly, and she says she can feel you getting better every time. You start to know more people from school, and you would say hi to each other on the street. That is not such a big deal, but it is a good start.
</p>
<p>
<% if (s.make_own_story === true) { %>
You even worked through the interactive narrative project despite the mental stress. That's the first project done in your new school. You don't know if it is a good start or bad start, but you are glad it is over. By the way, you did make a decision on what endings you have, but you want people to play it to see them.
<% } %>
</p>
<% if (s.ask_to_meet === true) { %>
<p>
You still feel the struggle of handling your school and work together, and you mental state still goes through ups and downs from time to time, but even in these times you feel this is a start of a new life.
</p>
<p>
Your call with her is just a few days away. What do you want to do?</p>
<p>[[Travel to New York as you planned|Travel to New York as you planned]]</p>
<p>[[Call her at home]]</p>
<p>[[Tell her you don't want to call anymore]]</p>
<% } else { %>
<p>current score: <%=s.score%></p>
<%
if (s.score >= 8) {
%>
<p>
You still feel the struggle of handling your school and work together, and you mental state still goes through ups and downs from time to time, but even in these times you feel this is a start of a [[new life|Farewell: You've let go]].
</p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p>
You still feel the struggle of handling your school and work together, and you mental state still goes through ups and downs from time to time, but even in these times you feel this is a start of a [[new life|Farewell: You've made up your mind to let go but still feel miserable]].
</p>
<%
}
%>
<% } %>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 450px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
On your scheduled time, you are standing outside of her apartment. You take a deep breath, dial the number, and a few seconds later, she picks up.
</p>
<p>
What a familiar voice, and how long you have missed it. As planned, you make yourself sound positive and polite. You speak your heart to thank her for all the time you've been together and also apologize for what you could have done better. You know these things are not exactly the reason you break up, but you still want to say them because you truly felt sorry for them. Concisely and sincerely, you finish what you want to say.
</p>
<p>
She listens to you quietly, and calmly responds with a "Thank you". You casually chat about how things go in your lives, just like old friends, but nothing emotional or sentimental.
</p>
[[Continue|ok]]
</div><%
s.score += 2;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/hKXTL20/classroom.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p {
color:white;
}
div {
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a {
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
On the scheduled day at the scheduled time, you dial her number, and she picks up.</p>
<p>
What a familiar voice, and how long you have missed it. As planned, you make yourself sound positive and polite. You speak your heart to thank her for all the time you've been together and also apologize for what you could have done better. You know these things are not exactly the reason you break up, but you still want to say them because you truly felt sorry for them. Concisely and sincerely, you finish what you want to say.
</p>
<p>
She listens to you quietly, and calmly responds with a "Thank you". You casually chat about how things in your lives, just like old friends, but nothing emotional or sentimental.
</p>
[[Continue|ok.]]
</div><%
s.score += 5;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/hKXTL20/classroom.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p {
color:white;
}
div {
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:30px;
}
a {
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
You take out your phone, find her, and type:
</p>
<p>
"Hi, it's been a long time, but today I just to let you know that I don't need to call you anymore. Thank you for all the time we've been together, and goodbye."
</p>
<p>You hit enter, put down your phone, and you feel an extraordinary feeling of relief. It would be lying if you say you have no special feeling about her anymore, but you have made clear to yourself, mentally and physically, your life goes on.</p>
<p> Soon she replies, "Thank you as well. Goodbye."</p>
<%
if (s.score >= 8) {
%>
<p>[[The next day.|Farewell: You've let go]]</p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p>[[The next day.|Farewell: You've made up your mind to let go but still feel miserable]]</p>
<%
}
%>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/GvN2WK4/goodbye.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:140px;
top:30px;
}
a{
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:60px;
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>The next day, the sun rises as usual. You get up, shower, and go to class. You don't feel particularly happy or sad. You just feel...alive.
<p>
<p>
She still comes to your mind quite often, but you know the girl you think about is not the girl she is now. She only lives in your memories. Your feeling is no longer associated with the girl who is probably also walking to a class in New York. You each go your own way now. The girl in your memory, on the other hand, will always be with you, and you can always find strength from those great memories.
<p>
<p> END. </p>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/GvN2WK4/goodbye.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 600px;
position:relative;
left:130px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>The next day, the sun rises as usual, and once again you wake up before the alarm. Lying on the bed, you can feel your heart is still empty in some way, because indeed nothing can fill such a big hole this quick. But you know, time will cure it all. You know it will.
<p>
<p>
You get up, shower, and go to class. Normal beginning just like any other day. And she comes up to your mind, also like any other day. When you think of her now, you still have this illusion of hope. You know you are not getting her back, and you have known it for a long time, but deep in your heart, you are still expecting something. You don't know what that thing is, but it feels like you are still connected with her. It doesn't make you sad, nor does it make you happy. It almost becomes part of your being, and you just live with it.
<p>
<p>
"That's okay. Time will cure it all. I know it will", you say to yourself.
</p>
<p> END. </p>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/GvN2WK4/goodbye.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 600px;
position:relative;
left:120px;
top:10px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
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</style>
<div>
<p> You break the silence. "Can you open your door?" </p>
<p> She is confused. </p>
<p> "I'm outside of your apartment." </p>
<p> Silence. </p>
<p> "I'm sorry but I don't want anything from you anymore. I just want to say my farewell to you, in person, because we both devoted everything we have to each other, and such a relationship deserves a proper farewell." </p>
<p> Silence for 2 more seconds, and you hear her stand up and walk toward the door. The door opens, and there stands she. It feels like centuries ago since you last see her, but now she looks exactly the same, skinny, beautiful, and familiar. Time is such a magic.</p>
<p> She has a polite smile on her face, "Hi long time no see." </p>
<p> "Long time no see. You look the same as before." </p>
<p> "You look skinnier." </p>
[[Continue|ok..]]
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/GvN2WK4/goodbye.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 700px;
position:relative;
left:130px;
top:10px;
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a{
color:#36B4F3;
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<div>
<p> She breaks the silence, "Goodbye." </p>
<p> At this moment all your emotions get stirred and want to burst. You almost tell her that you are right outside of her door, but you suppress the urge. "Goodbye." One word, two syllables, and nothing else.</p>
<p> "Have a good life." </p>
<p> "You too." </p>
<%
if (s.keep_journal === true) {
%>
<p> You are waiting for her to hang up, but she has not. "By the way, thank you for sharing the journal with me. I've read it. I'm truly sorry for what you have gone through, and I'm happy to see you put yourself together again. I'm sorry I couldn't help you through this because I think my presence would only make things worse for you. Good luck and I will always be proud of you." </p>
<p> "Thank you." This is all you can say, with tears in your eyes.</p>
<p> She says goodbye again, and hangs up. </p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p> She hangs up. </p>
<%
}
%>
<p> You take a deep breath and think, "that's it then". You leave her stuff at her door -- they are things that you gave her but she didn't pack when she left LA. The LA times feel centuries away, now that you think about it. </p>
<p> You lightly knock on the door, and walk away. After you turn to the corner, you hear the door opens. She must be looking around, and you have the last chance to step out and see her, but again you choose not to. The door closes, and you walk away. </p>
<%
if (s.score >= 8) {
%>
<p> No matter how you feel, now is really the [[next chapter|Farewell: You've let go]] of your life. </p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p> No matter how you feel, now is really the [[next chapter|Farewell: You've made up your mind to let go but still feel miserable]] of your life. </p>
<%
}
%>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/Z8TTqtZ/aeroplane-aircraft-airplane-635052.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 450px;
position:relative;
left:190px;
top:30px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Deep down in your heart, you still feel the emotions and sentiments toward her, but just by hearing her voice and speaking your heart out, a warm feeling rises up in your heart. The warmth calms the emotions and sentiments, and you feel peaceful. You almost doubt if the peace is satisfying enough and if you still need to see her today.
</p>
<p>
After the brief casual chat, both of you remain silent for a few seconds. You know, it is time.
</p>
<p>[[Tell her you are here with her stuff]]</p>
<p>[[Leave her stuff at door and go]]</p>
</div><%
s.score += 2;
%>
<style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/hKXTL20/classroom.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p {
color:white;
}
div {
width: 500px;
position:relative;
left:170px;
top:10px;
}
a {
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Deep down in your heart, you still feel the emotions and sentiments toward her, but just by hearing her voice and speaking your heart out, a warm feeling rises up in your heart. The warmth calms the emotions and sentiments, and you feel peaceful.
</p>
<p>
After the brief casual chat, both of you remain silent for a few seconds. You both know, it is time, but it is hard to end this warm moment.
</p>
<p> She starts first, "Goodbye." </p>
<p> At this moment all your emotions get stirred and want to burst, but you suppress them all. "Goodbye." One word, two syllables, and nothing else.</p>
<p> "Have a good life." </p>
<p> "You too." </p>
<%
if (s.keep_journal === true) {
%>
<p> You are waiting for her to hang up, but she has not. "By the way, thank you for sharing the journal with me. I've read it. I'm truly sorry for what you have gone through, and I'm happy to see you put yourself together again. I'm sorry I couldn't help you through this because I think my presence would only make things worse for you. Good luck and I will always be proud of you." </p>
<p> "Thank you." This is all you can say, with tears in your eyes.</p>
<p> She says goodbye again, and hangs up. </p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p> She hangs up. </p>
<%
}
%>
<%
if (s.score >= 8) {
%>
<p>[[The next day.|Farewell: You've let go]]</p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p>[[The next day.|Farewell: You've made up your mind to let go but still feel miserable]]</p>
<%
}
%>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/GvN2WK4/goodbye.jpg");
background-size:cover;
}
p{
color:white;
}
div{
width: 600px;
position:relative;
left:120px;
top:1px;
}
a{
color:#36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p> "Well, now that I see you, I just want to say...", you look right into her eyes, "thank you, for everything. You will always be special to me." </p>
<p> "Thank you. The same to you." She looks into your eyes as well. You can see from her eyes, she means it. Isn't that all you need? </p>
<p> "Thanks. This means a lot to me." You try to relax the atmosphere a little bit, "Well, that's it from me then. You want to add anything else? "
<p> She smiles, "I'm good too."
<p> You look at each other for a second, and then she points at her door, "I should be going back in now".
<p> You gave her the bag that has all her stuff -- they are things that you gave her but she didn't pack when she left LA. "These are yours." </p>
<%
if (s.keep_journal === true) {
%>
<p> She takes it, and walks back in, and turns around to close the door. You are waiting for the door to shut, but it doesn't.</p>
<p> She stops it and says, "By the way, thank you for sharing the journal with me. I've read it. I'm truly sorry for what you have gone through, and I'm happy to see you put yourself together again. I'm sorry I couldn't help you through this because I think my presence would only make things worse for you. Good luck and I will always be proud of you. Bye bye."</p>
<p> Before you have a reaction, she closes the door and goes in.</p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p> She takes it, and says "Thank you". She walks back in and closes the door. </p>
<%
}
%>
<p> "I will always love you." You whisper to the door, and then walks away. </p>
<%
if (s.score >= 8) {
%>
<p> Walking on the street of New York, you say to yourself, no matter how you feel, now is really the [[next chapter|Farewell: You've let go]] of your life. </p>
<%
} else {
%>
<p> Walking on the street of New York, you say to yourself, no matter how you feel, now is really the [[next chapter|Farewell: You've made up your mind to let go but still feel miserable]] of your life. </p>
<%
}
%>
</div><style>
body {
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/pxfykBh/girlRoom.jpg");
background-size: cover;
}
p {
color: #2e0905;
}
div {
width: 700px;
position: fixed;
left: 220px;
top: 10px;
}
a {
color: #36B4F3;
}
</style>
<div>
<p>
Maybe you got some sleep, maybe you didn't. You just cannot recall because the moment you step out of the plane and put your feet on a different continent, everything behind you feels unreal.
</p>
<p>
The 2-hour bus to you now feels just like a snap of the finger. All of a sudden you are standing in front of her door, and you [[knock]].
</p>
</div>